pringles
by frost-powered-mayhem
Summary: because you can't stop at just one. a series of cracky one-shots in the everyday relationship of our three favorite shinigami! rated for mild language and adult theme no actual smut sorry GrellXWilliamXUndertaker pairing
1. Chapter 1

I Scream you Scream

"Something has to change"

"Why? You liked it enough to scream yourself horse"

William abruptly rolled over and only just stopped himself from throwing a pillow over his head. Those words had all the makings of a conversation he did NOT want ruining his post coital snooze.

"True, but that's the point. Your title is to looooong"

Ah whining that would be Grell, whose voice William noted with an internal smirk was indeed horse.

"Besides" Grell continued to rasp "it seems so … un-classy for a lady to yell a shorter version 'oh under' or 'oh taker' see lacks elegance, don't you have a _name?_"

William wanted to stuff a pillow in Grells' mouth as the raspy 'bedroom calls' where demonstrated, he just wasn't sure if it was his reflex to Grell's ridiculousness or his twitching dick that spearheaded the need. After a second he decided it was just a 'make Grell stop being stupid' reflex because he was to warm, tired, and cozy to do anything about the other option. That decided he determinedly set to himself away from the conversation and back into that 'I just got laid' happy place.

The thoughtful silence of their third partner dragged on behind him and William frowned

Damn it he was _interested _

Turning back over he cracked an eye open to see his two lovers sitting cross-legged and facing each other. Undertaker looking thoughtful as he picked _buttons_ out of Grells tangled locks, while Grell leaned against the head broad massaging his cramping fingers. If either shinigami noticed his attentiveness to the conversation they gave no indication.

In the dragging silence William had started eyeing the small collection of buttons (plus one cuff link and one earring) and was annoyed to see most of them where HIS though one was undertakers and the earring could only belong to Grell. He was just figuring out where demanding Grell sew them back on, since his eagerness is the most likely reason for their departure from their rightful garments, fit into his morning routine when undertaker FINALLY answered the question.

"I probably did but I don't remember it now' he leered 'that smack against the foot board must have knocked it _clear _out of my head'.

William closed his eye again and barely repressed a snort.

Grell huffed "fine then we shall have to GIVE you one"

"How about 'sexy beast'?"

Silver and crimson slowly turned to meet the deadpanned expression that matched the deadpanned question.

William had the creepy impression that he was in one of those new horror novels as twin wolfish grins stretched across their faces

"well" undertaker purred the buttons making a soft clatter as they were swept to the floor "since you thought it up" he got to his knees slinking closer

"you get to put it to the test" Grell rasped looking smug as he settled more comfortably against the headboard to enjoy the show

A/N

Because I can't imagine William screaming 'ride me hard you sexy beast' with a straight face XD


	2. Chapter 2

Not so sexy hair pulling

William found himself unwillingly pulled from his sleep by a gnawing pain in his arm. He grumbled in irritation and pain then paused.

That wasn't just literary exaggeration something was GNAWING on his ARM!

Dropping his head to the side he opened his eyes to see Grell industriously chewing on his bicep. Of course his first THOUGH was 'thank god I'm not wearing a sleep shirt there would be no way to repair the rips from those teeth' the second though was 'owe damn it' and the final resulting action was to raise an eyebrow.

"Grell?"

Grell paused in his quest to separate Williams arm from his body, treating William to the rather odd expression of indignant near sighted glare and childish desperation.

"I have to peeeeeeeeeeeee" he somehow managed to whine and growl at the same time, giving a little desperate wiggle.

"You're a big boy Grell these are things you can manage by yourself" Williams eyebrow officially raised from 'what is it _now_' to 'we've been over this before you. Idiot'

"not when you on my haaaaaaaair" again that strange mix of snarl and whine as Grell demonstrated by trying to sit up and coming up short with a yelp as he yank on his obviously tender scalp. William followed the crimson fall from his lovers head to where it disappeared under his arm and side.

"Oh" he mumbled and rolled just enough to free his bedmate who was across the room in a pale assed blur not a second after the weight was lifted. Falling back into place William couldn't help but feel slightly guilty at the few strands of shimmering crimson left behind in Grells urgency.

Until he was distracted by someone chewing on his OTHER arm.

Dropping his head to the left he saw a mop silvery bangs working enthusiastically over his other bicep. Eyeing the pale scarred figure stretched along his side, particularly noting the two braided pigtails he raised his other eye brow.

"What? I'm not lying on YOUR hair"

He saw the glint mischievous eyes and toothy smile through the sleep tousled bangs. "I know it just looked like fun" undertaker answer WAY too cheerfully.

William should have known better than to ask.

Instead he turned his attention back to Grell as the shark toothed man started the trek back to HIS side of the bed (the redhead didn't care which of his two lovers lay next to him as long as he was in HIS spot)"why" William asked "don't you braid your hair back like undertaker so we could avoided these rude awakenings" he looked pointedly at his still bleeding arm.

"because" Grell purred still looking a tad put out especially when he too spotted the hairs he left behind in his haste, haste William had caused "I make a deliciously morbid picture with it unbound, you love seeing me spread so beautifully on the pool of my blood colored hair and you know it" he sniffed striking a pose.

"of course we do love" Undertaker answered sitting up to grab the redhead around his decidedly feminine waist "now" Grell squawked as he was abruptly tossed onto William "kiss and say you're sorry" he teased them both.

From the jumble of limbs he received twin nearsighted glares and a chorus of "I most certainly will not!"

Undertaker grinned wide "excellent" and pounced.


	3. Chapter 3

Lasting Impressions

"Wow whatever did we do it against to leave THAT kind of impression?"

William slowly twisted around from brushing his teeth in front of the bathroom mirror to inquire as to what the HELL the voice about his waist was referring too. And found an as of yet unadorned mop of ethereal silver tickling his bare ribs as Undertaker, bent at the waist and dressed only in the ruffled obi to one of Grells' kimono, intently examined the small of Williams back.

"Impression?" William frowned, admittedly last night was a _little _fuzzy after the first few rounds of that drinking game William now realized he was VERY bad at.

"Yeah" Undertaker confirmed "right" he trailed his finger teasingly down the perfectly curved spine "here" Williams shiver turned into a yelp as the albino poked a previously unknown sore spot just above his tail bone.

"Well" he huffed turning back to the mirror to finish up the task of teeth brushing "what does it look like then?"

"hmmmmmm" the brunet watched undertakers head tilt to the side through the mirror as he rinsed and spat "hard to say" Taker mused "hey, Grell come look at this"

"what?" the redhead moaned from the other room his voice getting louder as he continued "and why is William the only one to wake up with his trousers still on….."

Still facing the mirror William watched emerald eyes behind crooked red glasses slowly widen as Grell stepped through the door behind them. The equally ruffled kimono belonging to the obi adorning Undertaker almost slipped off as he wobbly leaned against the door frame, head thrown back in laughter as he pointed at Undertakers' ass.

Specifically his left butt cheek

"Wow whatever did we do it against to leave THAT kind of impression?" he cackled

"see that's what I said"

"No Undertaker he's pointing at you"

Undertaker straightened to blink questioningly at William. The brunet in turn smirked at him through the mirror "your ass" he clarified as a new wave of giggles escaped Grell.

"t-the l-l-lef-ft cheek!" Grell barely managed obviously not _quite_ over their drinking games yet.

"really now" Undertaker blinked and twisted moving hair and obi out of the way to try and get a look for himself.

Helpfully stepping away from mirror Will turned to their giggling lover. A fond, if exasperated smile creeping across his face as he went to help the shark toothed man from the tangle of fabric he had managed to work himself into as his giggling fit took him to the floor.

He bent over the quivering kimono as it gave a rather un-lady like snort and lifted a fold in an attempt to determine 'which way was up'.

He paused

Readjusted his glasses

And blinked

"Wow what did we do it against to leave THAT kind of impression"

"eh"

Giggle, snort "I KNOW it's so, so"

"no Grell" Will interrupted "I'm looking at YOU" he felt the fond smile stretch into a grin "your ass specifically"

"what?"

"right cheek"

"well I'll be" William felt weight against his back, silver hair slithering over his shoulder as Undertaker peered down at Grell. The albino whistled "nice"

Glancing over his shoulder Will caught the sight of their backs in the mirror and laughed "well at least you two match"

"what?, what?" Grell whined struggling with the kimono to get upright and see

Undertaker moved off William to get a closer look at Grell "now I'm curious" he mused tracing the obscure pattern drawing a twitch and whine from his 'specimen' " what in all the realms…"

Knock, knock, knock

Silence

Knock, knock, knock

"Well the door isn't going to answer itself" Will announced striding towards the door "one moment please!" he called politely pausing in his trek only long enough to throw on his shirt and toss a random bathrobe back in the direction of his two scrambling companions. His years of compulsive neatness having all his buttons done by the time he reached the front door.

"so sorry you had…to…wait" he stared down at a very disgruntled blue haired 12 year old boy "Ceil?"

Two 'thankfully clothed' bodies pressed against his back

"aren't you dead?"

William rolled his eyes, of COURSE that was Grell.

In front of him the boy mirrored his expression "why else would I be in the realm of the DEAD fool" he snipped

"well uh….hey now" Grell pouted hiding his face in Williams shoulder "brat is being mean Wille make 'em stop"

The grinding of Wills' teeth went unheard over Undertakers' curiosity "so why are you here? Came to share anymore good jokes from that butler of yours?"

"ha, he's the butlers' errand boy now" Grell smirked

"Grell" William sighed before raising an eyebrow at the boy "why ARE you here?"

Ceil scowled and looked away "I came to retrieve Sebastian's glove" he ground out

The three men blinked then looked at each other and blinked again

"we don't have it" they chorused

Ceils scowl deepened till he looked pained "you do, it's" he wouldn't meet their curious gazes as he pointed to William "in his trousers"

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William lost all color

"I'LL LOOK FOR IT!!" Grell crowed, only to have Williams hand on his face firmly halting his dive for the brunets' pants.

Ceil wished he could die AGAIN, while undertaker laughed "what a wonderful joke!"

Needless to say after a brief PRIVATE search William did turn up the missing glove, Ceil took it disgusted and slammed the door shut on their questions (amusing since he had to reach passed them to grab the door handle) Grell tried really hard to remember what drinking game they were playing while William tried really hard to make sure he FORGOT and Undertaker would be found randomly laughing for the next week.

What the hell DID they do it against?


	4. Chapter 4

Find the Stick

This was not Grells' favorite game

In fact he could _almost _say he down-right didn't like it. Which was saying something considering how much Grell LOVED games, (especially the ones that involved dead humans, but that was why he loved his job wasn't it)

'Find the stick' however was a game he could, if it weren't for his rather un-fairly (he thought LOUDLY) played upon masochistic tendencies, do without

Born from his two lover's private amusement when they realized that out of the three of them Grell was the most blind without his glasses.

"You're getting old" William had quipped dryly upon this discovery

Poor man had _no _idea

On the flip side Undertaker had almost died AGAIN while choking on a cheese cube at the comment

'Serves the bastard right' Grell sniffed to himself even as he had whined in Williams' ear about being rude enough to comment on a ladies age. (While kicking Undertaker under the table causing the hysterical man to choke on the wine he was trying to wash the cheese down with. The memory caused a slow, satisfied shark toothed grin even now. Along with the memory of the rather knowing neck nomming the albino had gifted him with later in retaliation)

But the memories of this games fated birth where not helping Grell now.

In fact

SMACK

CRASH

'Oh for the love of!'

Grell huffed under the curtaining weight of his own hair. His cats' green eyes finally finding focus on the tiny skull pattern of the bedroom area rug pressed against his now sore nose.

Honestly

Nose sore, skin tingling with delicious frustration from all those 'leading' touches, shin annoyingly (because stupidly inflicted hurts were NOT sexy dammit) bruised shin Grell had had enough. If it wasn't so 'un-sporting' he would have just found his own 'stick' and been done with it and to hell with the other two for the night.

But Grell liked a good game, and it wasn't a proper challenge if he just pack up his 'toys' and left the preverbal (read _perverted_) sand box.

And without a proper challenge it wasn't a delicious win

The warmth of Williams' rare unrestrained laughter teased him up from his un-lady like sprawl as much as Undertakers feathery touches did.

Grell reached blindly knowing EXACTLY how high Takers hips would be

Only to have the weight of a thin braid slap his ass as the infuriating albino giggled and danced away again

Alright then

Grell closed his eyes

He was willing to play this game he didn't like much for the sake of his two lovers

But

Grell straightened himself out as elegantly as he could, making a show of stretching everything out before inspecting the snowy expanses of his own skin, having to contort QUITE spectacularly to examine his scraped shin. A low purr his sirens call as he lapped at the thin cut on the underside of his arm.

He didn't need to see their blurry shapes to hear their suddenly _awkward_ shuffle towards him.

A slow smile curled his painted lips as he shook non-existent tangles from his hair with well practiced (in front of a mirror no less to make sure he had it _just_ right) little flips and shakes.

Just because he played the game didn't mean he would stick to the rules

First one mouth, then the second paid grace to his form, a triumphant smile sparking his green eyes as he oh so casually reached out. Rewarded instantly with twin moans of excitement as the 'sticks' came to HIM

Because no matter the game Grell loved to WIN

A/N

The thought of Undertaker choking on a cheese cube (snicker) made me laugh as I was laying in bed thinking of this, was afraid I was gonna accidently wake hubby, so I had to get up and write

Damn you 4 in the morning


	5. Chapter 5

I've been looking for you!

It was a grey gloomy day in London.

Of course it was its LONDON

But today was less gray than most and to celebrate this fact Grell dragged his lovers through the bustling streets on a 'date'. It goes without saying that they stood out, with Grells bright crimson hair Undertakers albino continence and William for being so…normal next to his exotic companions.

Of course with their striking looks they were noticed, but it was their behavior that parted the crowds around them as best the narrow streets would allow.

Grell was singing about their date LOUDLY

Undertaker was leering creepily at anyone not smart enough to ignore him (and he leered extra hard at those who did, and if their little group paused for any length of time he LOOMED creepily and with purpose)

And William...

Well William was William, disapproving (but not as much as he felt he should be, his lovers where starting to rub off on him dam it!) and normal (aside from the whole death god thing) which made him extra strange for his company.

Yet as they carried on down main street pausing every now then for Grell to exclaim over some window display or another they began to realize they were not the only moving clear spot in the crowds.

Grell perked up, this meant something new and interesting! (And possible competition for the spotlight) and dragged his lovers towards the newest disturbance in the propriety of the London peoples' lives.

As they drew closer it was quite easy to see the source of the disturbance. Or at least part of it as a foreign fellow of dark coloring and startling red eyes towered over the crowd by at least a foot or more.

Grell draped himself over Williams shoulder "were we due for newbie's?"

William frowned and shook his head, now HE led the way through the crowd; this was defiantly not in his memos

Giggling Undertaker brought up the rear

Until the two clear spaces joined and they were faced with a small group of people rather obviously out of place.

The giggling stopped abruptly as takers eyes fell on a second man clinging in a Grell like fashion to the first.

The man in question stopped his obvious teasing sharply and turned revealing a black eye patch under his golden locks. His single golden eye widened

YOU!

Grell stepped away from Takers pointing arm and into William as the albino started to flail his arms "I've been looking for you! Been missing your reaping appointments for years and then I hear they turned you into a VAMPIRE!"

The blonds red eyed companion ducked as the man abruptly broke from his own startled pointing and flailed HIS arms "I've been looking for YOU! I kept waiting at those appointments and then they turned me into a VAMPIRE!"

There was a pause

Then they embraced tears leaking from their eyes "oh cruel fate!" they wailed in unison

Grell and William looked at the tall man and the previously un-noticed teenage girl and boy that where with the blond man.

The three looked back

And the two groups took three mutual steps back from the two sobbing men in the middle.

The boy leaned over to the man "Kurogane san, is Fai san hugging the grim reaper?"

The older snorted yet kept a wary eye on his companion and the other two men starring at them a few feet away. "Great just what we need more freaks"

"Hey!" Grell snapped flashing his shark teeth "I resent that remark!"

"No, you resemble it" kurogane and William chorused.

They stopped

Eyed each other

And nodded with respect to their fellow sufferer of retarded companions

"Um"

They all turned to the young girl as she spoke up even Undertaker and Fai paused in their tears

She fidgeted a little under the attention but smiled sweetly and bowed to the shinigami "hello my name's Sakura this" she gestured to the boy "is Syaoran, and this" she gestured to the man "is Kurogane san and" she blinked "you apparently already know Fai san"

"And I'm Mokana!"

Grell shrieked and tried to climb up William as a white puff ball with bunny ears popped from out of the girls' shirt "WHAT IN GODS NAME IS THAT!"

The puffball huffed "Mokana already said it was Mokana"

Grell only shrieked again from Williams's shoulders looking for all the world like a puffed up kitten all bared teeth and pitiful hissing.

William pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head before grapping hold of Grell and slamming him into the cobble stones and stepping on his head "what have I told you about shrieking in my ear"

"Do it again, if I recall last night" came Grells self satisfied, if muffled, reply

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William cleared his throat, straightened his tie primly and turned to the rest of the group and gestured to the café across the (now COMPLETELY empty street) please join us for afternoon tea I believe we have much to discuss, his glasses flashed.

"But our daaaaaate" Grell wined

_**Grind**_

"Owie"

"Shall we?"

Warily the three started across the street towards the café Undertaker and Fai close behind arms thrown across each other shoulders and comparing notes on the times they missed each other and whining about it being each other's or other peoples (mostly their respective companions) faults

William trailed behind dragging a pouting Grell with him

"Just keep the talking toy away from me" the red head muttered "I think the blue haired brat made it to fuck with me"

William just shook his head and let his lover stew in his paranoia who knows he might be able to use it as leverage later.

A/N

this has been a tsubasa/kuroshitsuji crossover (bangs head on computer) for the love of crap it's 4 am, I have con in the morning I should be sleeping!


	6. Chapter 6

Title: The horses name is Charlie

Series: Pringles, chapter 6

Pairings: WilliamXGrellXUndertaker in no particular order

Genre: crack one-shot, yaoi, rated M

Summery: a little everyday domestic romance, little cliché' but there you go. If the title doesn't make sense by the end I'm sorry

"Ah, ah, ah, right there you sexy beast right THEEEEEERE!"

Williams' eyebrow twitched

"My, my, our little princess is so vocal" their silver headed, top- hated lover purred as his long bony fingers working their magic deep into pale, squirming flesh.

Williams' eyebrow convulsed

"I swear if you stop Taker 'pant' I'll reap you solid" shark teeth would have gleamed dramatically with the muffled threat, if they weren't buried in the good down pillow. The expensive cotton leaking pearlescent feathers in the most obscenely erotic way feathers can leak.

William cracked his knuckles

A teasing chuckle flowed easily from the scared throat as fingers pressed harder into his red headed bedmate "promises, promises little queen, you really did ask for this you know" he flexed and twisted his knuckle causing the body beneath him to quiver and shriek "all those demands to try new positions spilling from that pretty mouth of yours"

"Gentlemen" William ground out, abruptly bringing the attention of two sets of gleaming green eyes on him. Despite his predicament he had to admit the site of Undertaker in nothing but his top hat between Grells' creamy legs as the red head whimpered and moaned through WILLIAMS' pillow was top 10 on his 'where's the lotion?' list

Unfortunately there lay his problem

"Can we PLEEEEESE continue" he huffed tugging at the silken rope around his wrists. Honestly how did he allow them to talk him into these things?

"oh my" Grell spat out a feather "sorry Willy dear, be right there" slipping his calf from Undertakers kneading hands and his tongue into Undertakers mouth in thanks he slunk over to Williams arm chair just a few feet away. "I promise to make it gooood, to make it up to you"

Williams eye twitched, his dick agreed "it WAS good until you screamed "cramp!" and fell over in the middle of it" he huffed.

There was a hysterical laugh and a thump as Undertaker disappeared over the side of the bed, his hat rolling around the edge to stop at Grells feet.

"It wasn't THAT funny" Grell pouted

"Oh yes it was!" the other side of the bed snorted through giggles

"just . get . over . here" William would never admit on pain of second death that he wined just a little in his demand.

"Remember to stretch first!" Undertaker leered over the edge of the bed.

Grell huffed before prowling closer to his tied up and straining bedmate. His ruby lips curled into a hungry leer "oh I'll stretch alright, won't I Willie dear?"

A/N

Ahh domestic romance, lol this little cliché teaser is dedicated to all those this has actually happened too remember to stretch first!


End file.
